• buding

is a choice to stay, to bear this, to crawl out of this deep darkness.

there are times when giving up is the easiest and only way out.

but love of family and my bubs and my faith override that feeling.

my fear is that one day, that will not be enough.

  • buding

Today, I saw the nephrologist who took care of you. He must’ve recognized me even with my mask on because he greeted me as if he knew me. I introduced myself to him as your daughter and thanked him for being your doctor. I asked if the nurse you loved so much, as well as the nutritionist and social worker, still work there and he said yes. I then called your nurse (her number is still in my contacts) and thanked her for everything. She said my call made her day. Hearing her voice made my day. It brought me back to the days she would call me and update me about your numbers and the plan of care for you. I miss you so much, Papa. I miss taking care of you. I miss everything about you. It still hurts so so so much, Papang ko. I love you very much, Papa. Until we meet again.

  • buding

Last week, I took off from work for health reasons. It was a difficult time. Today, a coworker told me she did not want to tell me bad news she received while I was relaxing last week. How insensitive. Don’t people think anymore before speaking?

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